Over the past couple of weeks, we've received not one but two emails pointing us to spoof advertisements for non-existent products featuring traditional Hungarian flavors. The first (above) features a range of condoms flavored with such typically Magyar ízek as lecsó (pepper and tomato stew), pacal (tripe) and parasztkolbász ("peasant" sausange). This one was pretty easy to identify as a spoof, as a quick trip to the "flavored condoms" section of the Lifestyles corporate website revealed that the only flavors offered by the company are vanilla, strawberry, banana, chocolate and blueberry.

More convincing was the "Hungarian Goulash" variety of Meatwater, in part because the company - or at least someone with even more time to burn than us - took the time to put together a professional-looking website explaining why gulyás makes the prefect energy drink. "We like ours in the traditional Hungarian style: with loads and loads of paprika! That's what accounts for the red brownish color. We also put an end to the debate over whether Hungarian Goulash is a soup or a stew: it's neither! It’s a super-potent, yummy and delicious energy drink!"

Anyway, the whole thing got us thinking about what "Hungarian-flavored" products we hope to never taste, smell or see. Here are a few:

The Big Mák® - Two all poppy seed patties, special custard sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions and sugar on a poppy seed bun. Best enjoyed with a large MákFlurry®, containing a liter of ice-cold custard sauce, sugar, carrageenan, disodium phosphate, cellulose gum and 1.5 kilograms of freshly-ground mák.

Oh Máj!® breath mints. When you're really reeking, what better to throw them off the scent than the enticing aroma of freshly fried pork or goose liver?

Halászlekvár® brand fish soup breakfast jam. You love halászlé and you love lekvár. Why not love them together? In traditional strawberry-carp and blueberry-catfish, as well as gourmet elderberry-eel flavors.

And for all those Hungarian schoolchildren out there who can't think of anything more revolting than a big steaming plate of főzelék, we've got something very special for dessert: