As if anything could be more dismal that yesterday's story about the hopeless commercial position of state-owned trading firm Tokaj Kereskedőház Zrt., today we've got something even worse. Late last week the Hungarian media reported on a truly strange announcement by Gál Pincészet, the namesake winery of the late Eger winemaker Tibor Gál, who tragically died some years ago in a car crash. According to Gál's son, Tibor, Jr., the firm hopes to avoid taking on bank loans or new investors by issuing up to Ft 15 million of something called borkötvény, or "wine bonds." The reports say the securities have a "face value" of Ft 100,000, which "bearers" can "redeem" for up to Ft 150,000 of wine starting in November. Gál said that some other premium winemakers will also be accepting payment via the bonds, including Tokay superstar István Szepsy, Villány luminary Attila Gere, and Gál's fellow Egri winemakers Bolyki Pincésze, Gróf Buttler, and St. Andrea.

As with all such stories like this, it's hard to know where to start. Are there limitations on the types of wines that they bonds can be traded in for? If so, are the prices and supplies of these wines being guaranteed? And would it be possible to create a special borkötvény derivative similar to a mortgage-backed security that only includes wines made from kékfrankos and is linked to the prevailing forint-kékfrank exchange rate, so we can have a little chart that tracks kékfrank-kékfrankos liquidity?

All joking aside, this is just crazy and sad beyond words. If the problem Gál and other winemakers really face is one of temporary illiquidity, there must be easier ways to bridge the gap.

Sure, many Bordeaux châteaux and some other premium winemakers make a nice little business selling their wines en primeur, that is, as "futures." But those winemakers are usually in the happy position of always having more demand for their product than they have product. The en primeur sales are just a way to take advantage of that mismatch in supply and demand. There is no indication that Hungarian winemakers like Gál are in this position.

Instead, this is clearly a desperation ploy and a distraction from the nitty-gritty of getting out there and selling more, or cutting costs. (And speaking of cuts, Gál's prices can probably use some, given the apparent drift in quality since the death of Tibor, Sr.)

All that said, if Gál and the others can convince some sympathetic customers to buy these bonds, who are we to complain? Especially if we can find a way to get some free wine by shorting them…