In the beginning, there was only District VI, and it was very good. But then God said be fruitful and multiply and let there be a branch beyond the waters, in District III. And then God said no, still not good enough, bring forth more abundantly what my children closer to downtown may desire, and make it in the image of District III, with every kind of formerly living thing that moveth sliced paper thin, with green herb for meat and freshly baked loves and fishes packed in Styrofoam, outrageously expensive olive oil and Swiss Miss both with and without the little marshmallows, and a reasonably-priced restaurant.
But on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made, forsaking the faithful who had not foreseen to stocketh, and it was so not good that after the twelfth month God relented and opened the District V gate to the kingdom of heaven every Sunday, from 10 a.m.-6:00 p.m. And throughout the land there was much rejoicing and hope for a new life of plenty, and, if it’s not asking too much, maybe someday even a webshop. Amen.