The Delivery: American pizza (32 cm; Ft 1,030), Gyros pizza (32 cm, Ft 1,310)
From: Royal Mystic Pizzéria és Étterem , via Netpincér.hu (Ft 300 delivery charge)
The Lowdown: We hit on ordering from Royal Mystic after finding a paper flyer for the place, which is apparently new, in our home mailbox, loudly advertising its "American" pizza. But we somehow either didn't read or ignored the listing of ingredients on the Netpincér interface, which clearly warned of the disappointment that would arrive on our desk within an hour of pressing "order." In a word, the problem was kukorica - corn.

We'll try not to get overly agitated about this, and instead will just patiently point out, for the zillionth time, that no one puts corn on pizza in America. No one! In fact, so alien is the concept of a corn-topped pizza in the United States (which is what we think Mystic means by "America") that it could be accurately described as an "anti-American" pizza.

Fortunately, the "Gyros" pie was good enough to calm us down, being topped with a nice combination of tzatziki, spiced meat, cucumber, tomato and onion.

Unfortunately, it wasn't quite good enough, given that two of the other four listed ingredients for the so-called American pizza were either annoyingly skimpy (the tomato sauce) or of dubious authenticity (the szalámi, which seemed to be ordinary Hungarian ham). It's almost enough to make us want to move to Pittsburgh, open a Hungarian restaurant and start serving haggis and sushi. Harrumph.