The Delivery: Agyvérzés Pizza (46 cm, Ft 2,390)
From: 50minutes, via Netpincér.hu
The Lowdown: It’s not often that we consult with a doctor before eating lunch, and rarer still that we need an orvos to help us figure out what it is we are about to eat. But all that changed about an hour ago, when we pinged the one MD on our IM buddy list and asked him what exactly an agyvérzés is. “It’s a disused term for hemorrhagic stroke,” he explained. And the symptoms? “Instant death.”
So we’ll try to make this review as brief as possible.
Now, it’s no secret that Hungary has a healthy macho eating culture, with many dishes existing for little or no reason other than simple masochism. And 50minutes’ hemorrhagic stroke pizza – which, incidentally, arrived in exactly 50 minutes – honors this great tradition. The evil pie, which comes in several more humane sizes in addition to the 46cm monster we ordered, features tomato sauce, erőspaprikakrém (hot pepper cream cheese), olaszkolbász (by which we reckon they mean pepperoni), ham, onions, hot pepper and, as if that wasn’t enough, some hegyes erőspaprika hot pepper sauce.
We can’t say that the agyvérzés actually lived up to our doctor’s warning of instant death – we’re still writing, right? – but 15 or so minutes after finishing we must confess to feeling several other tell-tale symptoms of imminent agyvérzés:
- altered smell, taste, hearing, or vision (total or partial)
- drooping of eyelids…
- decreased reflexes: gag, swallow, pupil reactivity to light
- decreased sensation and muscle weakness of the face
- balance problems…
- altered breathing and heart rate
- weakness in tongue (inability to protrude and/or move from side to side)
Though maybe that last symptom is just a delayed reaction to something we ate before.
