Even when not pitted against others in a savage competition like the Budapest Burgerwar™, restaurateurs often give dishes with lots of animal protein names that make them not only big, but big and mean. The local burgermeister which seems to have stuck most closely to this wonderfully silly tradition is Café Farger, with its 180 gram "Brutál Burger."

The original Farger (there is at least one more on the way) takes up a well-chosen corner location on District V's tranquil Szabadság tér, a few doors down from Iguana. With a wide sidewalk terrace bordered by potted palms and oleander, it's a very pleasant place to sit down for a coffee or light lunch. Or, in this case, a rather massive burger, at least by Hungarian standards. (In America, my guess is that no one would ever call a burger containing 6.3 ounces of beef "brutal," unless it was topped with an equal amount of chili and pump-cheese. But I digress.)

When our likeable enough server arrived with our food, I was initially thrilled by the prospect of my impending "brutalizing." For one thing, the bun looked and felt great, with a beautifully grilled interior swabbed with a wee bit of some sort of very tasty relish. There was also a big crunchy leaf of what seemed to be genuine iceberg lettuce, and no cabbage within sight. Both the fries and the onion rings I ordered - one of which did actually come perched atop the brutalizer - were fine.

Before getting to the beef, a few beefs having to do with sides and condiments. First, the catsup we were given was pretty much the worst excuse for Ronald Reagan's favorite vegetable I've ever tasted. Meanwhile, be aware that if you order the Brutál along with fries and onion rings, you are likely to feel slightly brutalized when the check comes. Unlike the normal 100-gram beef and chicken burgers, which can either be ordered neat (for Ft 860) or as part of a Farger Burger tál (plate), which gives you spicy fries and onion rings for a total of Ft 1,430 (and thus a savings of Ft 80 off the combined price) there is apparently no proper Brutál tál, meaning I paid a full Ft 650 for my sides, plus the Ft 1,200 base price for the burger itself.

As for the meat, it was not so much brutal as unusual. Springy to the touch and teeth, and cooked well past medium but still not dry, I had to confirm with my waiter that it wasn't in fact pork, or some Serbian-like mixture of beef and pork. (Meanwhile, one of my dining companions claimed it was not so much Serb-y as "people-y," which may be the most brutal thing I've heard so far about a Budapest burger.) My guess is that it was all beef, though kneaded to the point that it had taken on the elasticity of Balkan street meat.

All that said, my plate got cleaned, and I wouldn't rule out going back for another, especially if they agreed to fix the pricing problem mentioned above and combine the pair of thin, 90-gram patties that normally go into the Brutál into one honking 180-gram beast that could actually be cooked medium-rare. Now that would be brutal.

How They Stack Up:

Meat: (5/10)
Bun: (9/10)
Trimmings: (8/10)
Service/Setting: (8/10)
Affordability: (6/10)
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Total Score: 7.2/10