Budapest Burgerwar: A Perfect Cheapo Burger Opportunity Ruined at Grund
It doesn't take a great restaurant to make a great burger. It doesn't even take a restaurant at all: some of the most lauded State-side burgers can be bought at stands or drive-thrus. It is such a simple equation, which is why the best burgers are usually straight from the grill at home. Decent ground beef, a workable bun (give me an industrial, store-bought sesame bun any day over the freshest, most exquisitely baked kalács), a grill/griddle and a few condiments, preferably ketchup.
The Grund Büfé (follow link for contact info and user feedback) appeared to have all the components in their unpretentious, almost innocuous stand on Ferenciek tere. Which is why I wanted to pull my hair out when, instead of smacking a raw, pink patty down on the griddle, the counter guy produced a cellophane-covered bowl of pre-grilled meat, slipped one in a bun and put the whole thing in a microwave, lettuce, tomatoes and all.
It's not like he was pressed for time: I was the only one in line. Then he broke out the Hungo-sauces: creamy chive, lecsó, and a strange swampy, yellowish mayo salad. As they were out of cheese, I resigned myself to my nuked lecsó-burger. It would be nice to confound all expectations and report it was deviantly genius, but, sadly, the results were predictable. The meat - which was mealy and tasted like it was spiked with low-grade pork - was completely devoid of moisture. The lecsó was the only real flavor, having nothing else to overpower. It was a lazy effort, but for Ft 400 (€1.64), I guess I should not have expected too much. That said, kudos to Grund for the bun: pulled form a plastic bag, it was a sizable sesame bun, probably from Tesco. Which is a fine, albeit probably accidental decision.
The trick to making a good burger is not what you do, it is what you don't do. Don't kalács it (I have had enough burgers with kalács that I am going to start using it as a verb, like "murder"), don't microwave it, and if you can't master a simple hamburger, don't try to fool the customer with a "Greek Burger" or a Mexikói Burger. Grund Büfé: you could have had it so much better.
How They Stack Up:
Meat: 3/10
Bun: 8/10
Trimmings: 4/10
Service/Settings: 7/10
Value: 9/10
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Total Score: 6.2/10
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I know it is difficult to translate bun, but would it be possible not to use the word kalács? Kalács is definitely not something you would use for a hamburger; zsömle, or zsemle would be more appropriate (and also can be used for murder :) ). Kalács is more like this: http://macikonyha.blogspot.com/2007/03/fonott-kalcs.html.
And just because I'm in a bad mood (and now I'm definitely not fair because I love all the chew.hu atricles) it is lecsó, not lescó and Ferenciek tere, not Ferenciek Tér. I'm sorry.
Never apologize for pointing out factual innacuracies! I just fixed the above, except for kalács, which we use to indicate a bun that is glazed and/or sweet or eggy, or a zsemle, which is closer to a proper hamburger bun but still a violation of well-established international burger protocols.
I guess you mean Puffancs.
Well there clearly is something wrong wrong with the rating system...glad I was able to figure this out towards the end. The various points need to be weighted. How the hell can such a microwaved cheese-less pork shit burger get a 6.2? Because the value and bun rated high...doesn't seem right now does it.
@Wilbur: Yes, this is an issue, and when we wrap the whole competition up, sometime in 2020 (just kidding!) we will break down the results several different ways. Hell, maybe we even try to create a 10/10 burger from all the perfect-scoring bits.
Back in 1863 Gen. William Tecumseh Sherman "War is hell" looking over the ravages of the US Civil War. I feel a bit like him as I read more of the review. Burgerwar is hell! There is not one redeeming point to come from it(aside from the fine reviews), just seeing the bloody, (like you could ever find a bloody burger in this city) battlefield of BP's kitchens and counters. Just as many have turned their backs on the barbarity of war, I too will turn my back in trying to find an edible, affordable, non-giant sweet-egg bun, beef - not pork, non-salt-lickish, salad laden, not thrown in the mircowave, burger in this city. If you are a chef in this city reading this blog I have one word for you; SHAME! You can put together some great meals but not to be able to make something so simple is pathetic.
"Sic Semper Tyrannis" - ok it doesnt fit but I want to finish with my Civil War Motif
I agree with András: puffancs is really better than anything else.